Santa's Sleigh - The Ultimate SUV

It's that time of year again when Santa needs to start preparing his sleigh for the long journey to visit all the boys and girls, who have been good. Delivering special gifts for their hard work and kindness throughout the year, spreading happiness across the world, to each and every family.

Santa's first job is to ask his Elf mechanic to carry out a thorough inspection of the sleigh, or as we would call it an M.O.T. Any faults would be reported to Santa and then repaired immediately, so the sleigh is ready to go, in a safe condition. The heart of the sleigh, as with any vehicle, is the engine, which in Santa's case is his wonderful reindeer. During the year the reindeer are looked after by a team of stable Elves, who exercise and train them throughout the year, to maintain peak performance levels. The reindeer are fed on 100% organic food, so as not to affect the environment, which also helps to keep their emissions as low as possible.

The sleigh doesn't need a modern, powerful supercharged or turbocharged engine to pull it along. Instead, it uses 9 super strong, super fit reindeer with their own unique names; Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph. Not only does this give the sleigh 9-BRP (brake reindeer power) but Santa sprinkles them with special magic reindeer dust to give them the extra power boost they need to visit all the homes of children across the world in just 24 hours. The reindeer can pull the sleigh, along with Santa and all the presents, at speeds reaching over 5,000,000mph. They will get from 0-5,000,000mph in less than 2secs! Let's see a Bugatti Veyron match those figures (ho ho ho).

All the energy used to work at these speeds does come at a cost, though, and fuel consumption is high. The reindeer need a large supply of carrots, to keep them at peak efficiency and performance levels. So, all those carrots you leave for them on Christmas Eve are much appreciated by Santa and the reindeer, to help them fulfil their hectic 24-hour blitz around the world. Please don't forget to leave at least one carrot out on Christmas Eve to feed the engine that pulls the sleigh with Santa and tonnes of presents.

The sleigh itself uses the latest North Pole technology and infotainment system, which includes a large 19-inch colour touchscreen with 3D Navigation, smartphone connectivity with Apple CarPlay and DAB Radio as standard. Unfortunately, Android Auto is not available, but Santa has advised this will be standard on next years model.

Inside the sleigh is an enormous red leather, power-adjustable seat, with adjustable lumbar support - enabling Santa to get comfy during his hard night's work. One of the new features on the 2019 model is the addition of massage function, which will sooth Santa's back after carrying all of those heavy presents.
The sleigh comes with a 360degree bird's eye view camera and park assist, for those tight, difficult gardens and roofs that Santa may need to park on.

The sleigh features a magic storage cubby for all of the boys and girls presents to be stored. To make finding the right presents easy, the smartest Elves designed a system where Santa types in the house number and postcode and the presents for that house are automatically picked from their storage location. By the use of more magic dust, they float up and into Santa's magic Christmas sack ready for delivery.
To ensure Santa is safe when delivering presents to all the boys and girls, the Elves have installed some of the latest safety technology. This includes Autonomous Emergency Braking (A.E.B.), with aircraft detection, for when Santa is flying through the sky at high speed and ceramic candy-cane brakes, to help bring the sleigh to a halt when needed.

Santa's sleigh is the most technologically advanced sleigh the Elves have ever built. They have promised that, even with the prospect of Brexit in 2020, this will not stop the development of next year's model, which is set to be even better and more efficient.

We will look forward to getting our first update from the North Pole late next year and will report back on our findings. So keep an eye on our website for further updates.

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Stuart Porro

Stuart is a nationally and internationally recognised automotive content creator. Reviewing cars for some of the biggest names in the four wheeled world, you can catch him right here on Yoauto.
  • Kent